


Effective Immediately

by addictedtoylvis



Category: Ylvis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 10:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictedtoylvis/pseuds/addictedtoylvis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Romantic fantasy in an office setting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Effective Immediately

**Author's Note:**

> AU, no wives/no kids. In fact, these aren't real people. They're characters borrowed from several TV Norge shows. Characters! With whom I'm taking some artistic license!
> 
> Also: I don't like to read or write in 2nd person so I just picked a name I liked off a top-20 list of Norwegian girls' names and ran with it.

Elise looked at the paper in her hands and sighed. One part of of her couldn't believe she had to do this; the other part knew she couldn't _not_. It was getting to be too painful.

 _Best fucking job I ever had, and he ruined it,_ she thought with a sad smile. Elise had been working at Concorde TV for six months as Bård's personal assistant. She was very good at her job, organized and efficient, and had been referred to Concorde by her grateful former employer, who had moved to Los Angeles. She took care of the grunt work of her clients' business and personal lives, allowing them to concentrate on their creative work, free of mundane concerns. Concorde TV had been a refreshing change of pace, with the laid-back, down-to-earth atmosphere and near-constant laughs. Not a single diva in the place.

Well, not a _real_ diva, Elise thought wryly, smiling as she thought of Bård's lengthy list of demands on the first day, including the length, width, coloration, and placement on his desk (next to the Calle Bear, a gift from a fan) of his bananas. She couldn't tell when he was kidding or not, so she followed his instructions to the letter, complete with the purchase of a proper banana stand for them to hang from. When he saw them the following morning he had laughed in delight and applauded.

On their show, Bård and Vegard constantly broke the fourth wall, addressing the audience directly and discussing the underlying mechanics of the production rather than trying to be perfectly seamless. They were the same way behind the scenes, up-front about everything and never letting an awkward moment go by unremarked upon. It was a comfortable atmosphere for Elise, who hated any kind of ceremony or passive-aggressive indirectness.

She and Bård had hit it off immediately on a professional level, finding it easy to communicate to the point that they had a sort of shorthand for dealing with most of the recurring issues she handled for him. They were good office friends, too. Elise liked go outside during her breaks, sitting on the picnic table with her feet on the bench, and Bård would sometimes join her, peppering her with questions like he did the guests on the show, saying he was practicing his interview skills. And of course, he teased and joked and always made her laugh. When her sister was in the emergency room after a car accident, Bård drove her there from the office and kept her company for three hours while she waited, anxiously. He distracted her and fetched her coffee and snacks until the doctor came out and told them her sister was going to be fine. She considered him a great guy, a good friend, you know, and then that one day they were posing for a group photo and he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in against his side and

_Oh..._

_Oh no..._

Looking back on it, Elise couldn't believe it was such a bolt out of the blue. _How did I not_ realize _I felt that way about him?_   She'd always been aware that both brothers were ridiculously good-looking and talented, but most people in her line of business were, and she'd thought she was immune to it.

Of course, the realization made her horrifically self-conscious, hyper-aware of everything she said and did around Bård. Being in the same room with him was excruciating. He had become beautiful to her, and watching his face when he was concentrating on his notes or listening intently to Vegard or Calle took her breath away. Her arms would physically ache with the desire to touch him, to trace the line of his shoulders or brush that errant lock of hair out of his face.

Their easy joking relationship became slightly strained. Bård teased her the same as always, but he could tell something was off, and seemed to withdraw a bit himself. A couple of times it looked like he had started to ask what was wrong, but Elise quickly ran off or changed the subject before it could go there. He had thousands, if not millions, of women fawning all over him and he didn't need one more, especially one he depended on to keep his life running smoothly.

The final straw for her had been when Bård brought a date to an awards show by the office to show her around. Elise was consumed with a white-hot jealousy. When Bård and the woman left she had to lock herself in the office away from everyone while she shed a few furious tears. It was ridiculous. She could not keep working for someone she now spent all her time mooning over, someone literally world-famous who had his pick of beautiful, successful women to choose from. And she could tell already that she wasn't going to get over it. He was too good and kind of a person for that, underneath his pesky persona. Better to just get out of here and try to forget about him. So she had written her letter of resignation, and now she just had to give it to him, and in two weeks it would be over.

*****

Bård sat at the conference table, slouched in his chair, watching Elise through the glass as she talked on the phone, nodding occasionally and taking notes as she listened. He wished he knew what had happened. He had the impression that she was avoiding him somehow. She still bantered with Vegard as she always had -- the two of them were two nerds in a pod with their math and science crap and their ongoing competition for the higher score on GeoGuessr -- but around Bård she didn't seem to laugh as much as she used to. And she had stopped taking her breaks outside, instead chatting with some of the other girls in the office or disappearing entirely.

He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He wasn't technically her boss -- officially it was Concorde TV who hired her and he wasn't directly involved -- but he shouldn't even be thinking about this. Her. At all. He stared moodily as she switched the phone from one ear to the other and brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes.

He yelled "Ow!" as Vegard shoved his arm. "What?!" "Are you even paying attention?" Vegard asked. He gave a knowing glance to Calle, who snickered. "Sorry," Bård said, and straightened up and turned back to the table.

*****

Bård was sitting at the desk in his office, shuffling through papers looking for his notes on a sketch he wanted to run by Vegard, when Elise walked in and closed the door behind her. He didn't look up, still digging, and said "Elise, have you seen my--"

She placed a paper on the desk. Her hand was shaking a little.

He picked it up, saying "No, that's not it--" and going silent as he saw the words on the page. He looked up at her. "What is this?" he asked, puzzlement on his face.

"It's my letter of resignation."

He looked up at her, mouth agape, momentarily speechless. "What? Why?" "I'd really rather not say." "Well, why not? Have you been unhappy here? I thought we worked well together. I know we keep you here late a lot. I could try to be better about that..."

"No, it's not that, it's just ... " she was floundering. _Why didn't I come up with a good excuse before I brought this up?_

He stood up from his desk, walking around it to stand in front of her, looking down from a disconcertingly close distance. "Can't we at least talk about this first? You're the best personal assistant I've ever had and I really don't want to deal with getting another one right now so close to the end of the season. And I don't get it. I thought we got along great. Just tell me, what's going on?" He was insistent, his blue-eyed gaze boring into hers.

He continued, "If you tell me, maybe we could work something out. Can't we at least talk about this?"

"There isn't really anything to talk about. It's not the job, exactly, it's ..." Elise looked at the floor, the ceiling, out the window, anywhere except at Bård.

He took a step closer. "It's what? If it's not the job, then what? Did I do something wrong? I know I can be a shit sometimes but I thought you knew I was just kidding around."

He was so close now. Her heart was starting to pound and it was hard to breathe. "Shit ... I just ... shit." Tears were brimming in her eyes. _Shit or get off the pot, Elise. Just tell him. What difference does it make, since you're leaving? What have you got to lose?_

She took a shaky breath, looked at him focused so intently on her, his forehead creased with concern. She looked back at the floor, wrung her hands, and blurted, "I can't work for you anymore because I'm too attracted to you. I'm not comfortable in this situation."

She took a deep breath.

Okay. It was out.

Nothing.

Silence.

She hesitantly looked up at him, afraid she would see pity in his eyes. Instead he was looking at her blankly, the distant inscrutable expression he wore sometimes that drove her crazy with its unreadability. How could someone capable of such expression be so expressionless? He took a breath, looked like he was going to say something, then stopped, staring at the wall over her head.

A few tears of embarrassment spilled over and she turned away blindly, turning to the table to begin gathering paperwork for somethingorother so she could get the fuck away from here and this mess she'd made.

Bård was speechless, at a loss for words and actions both. Whatever he'd thought the reason was for Elise to be leaving, this wasn't it. He cleared his throat. "I wasn't expecting that. I guess you're right," he said.

She gave a half-laugh, half-sob, wiping her silly tears away, her back still to him. "Yeah, it's for the best."

"It would be awkward, trying to maintain a professional relationship with this hanging over us."

Elise cringed in humiliation. So much for her chance. "Yes, so I'll just wrap things up and---"

"Maybe we can transfer you over to Magnus. His personal assistant is going on maternity leave in a few weeks and he was just going to wait 'til she got back. It really wouldn't be appropriate for us to date while you were working for me. "

"You know I love Magnus but I'd really rather just find another pl..." her voice trailed off as the rest of what he'd said began to sink in. Her head snapped up and she turned to look at him.

He was sitting on the edge of the desk, feet spread wide, hands braced on the edge of the desk, and he was grinning. That victorious I-gotcha little shit grin. With a bit of that little-boyness that made him so endearing and impossible to get mad at. She stood for a moment in a delirious mix of hope and disbelief. Had he really said that? He held out his hand to her, giving a little "c'mere" toss of his head, and she started to laugh, and closed the distance between them and punched him in the shoulder. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, so she was standing between his extended legs and their faces were level.

"Is that resignation of yours effective immediately?" he asked.

He uncurled her fist, holding her hand in his, and he was rubbing his thumb on her palm, sending sparks shooting up her arm and making her lightheaded. She heard the teasing note in his voice, but she was too shocked by the unexpected turn of events and too aroused by his nearness and his touch to figure out where he was going with it, so she merely answered the question. "Two weeks' notice."

He looked down at her hand between them, now holding it with his left while his right hand ran lightly up her arm.

"I think I might have to ask you to quit today. Right now, actually."

His smile changed, replaced with an intent look and a small half-smile that was almost shy, but still a little mischievous. His hand continued up to her shoulder and down her side to her waist, and around her back to pull her closer still. She was overwhelmed, and simply could not look at him, so she turned her head away and closed her eyes, his warm breath on her jaw sending bolts of feeling through her body. He lifted his mouth to her ear and whispered,

"Or I could just lay you ... off. Effective immediately."

Elise felt like her knees were going to buckle any second. His hand on her back gripped tighter, and he pressed his lips to the soft spot just behind her ear, then buried his face in her neck and inhaled deeply, just holding her for a moment. Her breath caught, and then his other hand was in her hair turning her face toward his, and his mouth trailed up her neck to her jaw until his lips met hers.

They both froze momentarily, stunned by the intensity of the simple contact. Elise gave a tiny gasp, parting her lips under his, and he held her head in both hands with his fingers gripping her hair and slanted his warm mouth over hers, deepening the kiss, rubbing his tongue on hers as she leaned into him and moaned, their bodies urgently pressing together. His hands traced down her back as hers came up to entwine in his hair. He cupped her ass, squeezed it, pulled her against him and groaned. Their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly, as though they'd been designed to hold each other this way. Their kisses were continuous, blurring, one into the other, and Elise felt like she was melting.

Suddenly the office door opened to Vegard yelling, "Bård what are you doing? We've been waiting for ten min..." his voice trailed off as he saw Elise spring away from Bård, Elise red-faced and her hair slightly mussed. Bård said irritably, "Do you ever _knock_?

Vegard's eyebrows shot up in surprise, then he started to laugh. "You two-- you-- oh my god, I knew it." He hollered down the hall. "Calle! You owe me 500 kroner!" Elise's eyes went wide. She wanted to sink into the floor. Bård picked up the Calle Bear and threw it at Vegard. "You fuckers!"

Vegard gleefully jumped out of the way, and the bear bounced off the door onto the floor and the impact started up the song. _Se på Calle, se Calle bader..._ "Hurry up, little brother. We're waiting for you!" He winked at Elise, then headed back down the hall, yelling, "Woo hoo hoooooooooo!" The bear wrapped it up: _la la la laaaa lo_. Elise buried her face in her hands, laughing, and Bård pulled her into his arms for a hug. He rested his forehead on her shoulder and she felt him laughing, too. He pulled her hands away from her face and kissed her on her cheek. "We'll work this out when I get back, okay?" She nodded, and with another brief kiss on her forehead and a slightly more lingering one on her lips, he grabbed his jacket and took off after his brother.


End file.
